Breaking Up- Randy's Point of View
by Allie2
Summary: *Completed!* In this story, we get Randy Kirwan's side of things as he deals with his breakup with Jana Morgan.
1. Default Chapter

Randy

"Darned rain," I muttered, leaning back against the headrest of my bed and turning my head to glare at the rivulets of water decorating my bedroom window. It seemed like all it did anymore was rain. I was starting to feel like *I* was the one living in London, England and not Christie Winchell, one of Jana's best friends. 

Jana. I'd promised myself that I was going to quit thinking about her. Ever since our official 'breaking up experiment' began last night, I'd been hanging around my room, brooding over the whole thing. To make it clear right off the bat, I never wanted to break up with Jana. This whole dumb experiment is completely *her* idea... I don't care what she says, breaking up and dating other people isn't going to change how I feel about her. How can she really expect me to just up and start dating other girls? You have to at least sort of be attracted to someone to ask them out and I can't think of one girl at school besides Jana who fits that bill. I guess you could say that ever since Jana and I started dating, I've really been a one-girl guy. I definitely have friends who are girls but I just can't imagine *dating* any of them. And now that's what I was supposed to do... for a whole month until the date Jana and I have planned where we'll get together and discuss our results. In other words, see if we still like each other as much as we thought we did and if we're 'meant to be'. 

A whole month. I flopped foward onto my stomach so that I was closer to my window and stared at the rain, not really seeing any of it, just silently thinking how the weather really did match my mood. It was almost like it was crying for me, something I had been upset enough to do, but hadn't done. Yet. That's why I had to keep my mind on other subjects. The more I thought about Jana and how much I missed her already and how I would only be able to *see* her for four whole weeks, the more depressed I got and ultimately, the closer to tears. I buried my head in my arms, folded in front of me. I wasn't going to cry though. I wouldn't let myself. I was stronger than that. It was just a *breakup* for pete's sake. Half the guys at school went through them, sometimes several times a week. And none of them ever got *nearly* upset enough to cry. But then, none of them had ever dated Jana either. 

A sudden knock at the door made me nearly jump out of my skin.

"Honey? Can I come in?" My mom's voice came from the other side of the door. 

I sat up quickly and took a deep breath, hoping nothing in my appearance would give away how upset I was. Ha. 

"Sure, mom." 

The door opened slowly, and my mom's smiling face peeked around the corner. 

"Hi, sweetie. I won't bother you if you really want to be alone, but you've been up here all day and I just wondered if something was wrong. You haven't even been down to the basement yet to play videogames, which is really unusual. Are you feeling ok?"

I started to nod my head, but stopped. My mom was one of the closest people to me in the world, and I knew she'd be able to see right through whatever I made up. And anyway, how could I expect to keep the fact that Jana and I had broken up a secret for a whole month? Not a chance. 

"Mom," I said hesitently, picking my words carefully as I tried to figure out the best way to break the news, "when a girl wants to break up with somebody, and the reason she gives is really dumb, and the person she's breaking up with doesn't want to break up, should that person just go along with it or do whatever he can to change the girl's mind?"

My mom's expression went from puzzled-and-slightly-amused to sympathetic in about two seconds. 

"Oh my," she said, coming over to the bed and sitting next to me. "Does that mean what I think it means?" 

I swallowed and looked down at the bedspread. 

"Jana and I broke up." Saying it out loud was like cutting my heart. 

My mom put her arm around me and gave me a squeeze. 

"Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. I know how much you like her. I had a feeling something along that line was bothering you since you seemed so quiet when you came home last night from her house..." She paused a minute, then added, "What was her reason for wanting to break up? You two didn't have a fight did you? It didn't seem like you two having any problems lately."

I sighed and then told her the whole story, Jana coming up with some wacky experiment about us needing to date other people and pressing the issue even though she knew how I was against it until finally I gave in last night before leaving her house. 

"But I know how I feel about her and dating other people isn't going to change anything!" I insisted as I wrapped up my speech.

"Well, it seems a little bit strange to me, too, Randy, but it might just be an excuse- you know how you like to have your own space sometimes, maybe Jana just feels like that right now." 

"Then why doesn't she just say that? If she wants to cut back, why doesn't she just say so? Why does that mean we have to break up?" I argued. 

My mom was silent for a moment. "I know you're hurt and confused right now and I wish I could make everything better for you. But I can't. And if Jana is really sure it's what she wants to do, then you have no choice to go along with it." She stood up and ruffled my hair. "But if you want to know my opinion, I'm betting it won't be a week before she changes her mind. Then everything will be back to normal." 

I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest. 

"I guess- hope- you're right, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm not going to date anybody else. I don't care how bad she wants this experiment to work, but there is no one I can even think of that I like well enough to ask out. And she can break up with me if she wants, but she can't tell me what to do. So there." 

My mom shook her head with a laugh and left the room. 

I sat there for a while after she had gone, turning everything she had said over in my mind. Could that possibly be the reason why Jana wanted to break up? She needed space? I thought that was pretty dumb, but girls can have some really weird ideas sometimes, so I guess it was possible. Or what if... I streched back out on my back again and frowned. What if she had fallen for some other boy in the class? I closed my eyes and thought back over every time I had seen Jana during the last week in school, out of school, in Bumpers... had she been looking around for someone? Mentioning some guy's name a lot? I couldn't think of anything. Then I tried to remember if I had heard another guy in the locker room talking about Jana. Was there someone who had a crush on her that she had found out about and then decided she wanted to go with? The thought made my heart feel like it was being squeezed. It wouldn't surprise me at all if there was some guy- or a lot of guys- that had a crush on Jana. She was the sweetest, prettiest, most sincere girl in school. I could remember back in sixth grade when Curtis Trowbridge had had it bad for her. The memory made me smile in spite of myself. Curtis was a real nice kid, but he was kind of on the nerdy side and definitely not Jana's type. I was sure he wasn't the reason she had broken up with me- mainly because he has a steady girlfriend, Whitney Larkin. Who could it be? If there even was somebody. I hoped there wasn't. I would die if at the end of the experiment she told me she wanted to break up for good because she'd met someone totally great. I looked at my window again, feeling more depressed than ever. Thing was, I'd already been through all those thoughts before, wondering if there was some other, deeper reason why she wanted to break up. And I never could decide if there was really evidence for any of them... and never sure if I was purposely missing something important because I didn't want to admit it to myself. 

"Randy! Dinner!" My mom called up the stairs.

"Coming!" I called back, grateful for an excuse to get my mind onto something else. Besides, I suddenly realized, I was starved. Like my mom had said, I hadn't been downstairs since breakfast, which was *very* unusual. 

"I really must be losing it," I muttered as I slid off the bed and walked over to my bedroom door. Halfway, something made me stop and slowly walk over to my bookshelf in the corner instead. The bookshelf is pretty long, and on the top shelf, I have all my sports awards and pictures of my best friends in frames. I had quite a few with Scott Daly, Mark Peters (they're my best guy friends), and me, but the one in the center of all the little stand-up frames was a picture of Jana and me. I have a lot of pictures of Jana, and even several of the two of us together, but this one was one of my very favorites. It was from earlier in the fall, taken by my mom one of the times Jana was over to study. If I remembered right, the weather hadn't gotten very cold yet which is why we were sitting on the back porch steps, looking over one of our assignments together. Right before she snapped the picture, my mom had called "smile!" and we'd both turned around just as there was the flash. Naturally, I look completely dorky with this dumb suprised look on my face, but Jana actually *is* smiling and I love it because it's so natural, not one of those 'fakey' smiles people sometimes put on for pictures. And the way the afternoon sunshine is making her hair glow... it just reminds me of an angel. I looked at the picture a moment longer until it got blurry. Then I quickly turned and raced out of my room and down the steps. A whole month. 

I was never going to make it.


	2. Terrible Week

The week passed by at snail's pace

The week passed by at snail's pace. I couldn't remember a time when I had been so bored with my classes and friends. I constantly found myself on the lookout for Jana, though every time I did happen to see her, I ducked out of the way so she wouldn't spot me. I wanted to talk to her so bad, but what could I say? My friends wisely avoided the topic with me. They kept our conversations on other topics and didn't even mention any of Jana's best friends. I didn't look for other girls to date, either. There was absolutely no one I wanted to go out with. 

On Saturday, almost exactly a week after we had split, I trudged to the library after lunch to work on a Family Livings report. We were supposed to pick a topic and research it, then write a report on it. The topics were really dumb, I thought, and I had just randomly chosen to do Day-Care Centers. I have no idea why. I'm not interested in them or anything. I had just found the books I needed and had seated myself at a table near the windows when I heard someone come up next to me. 

"Hi, Randy! Mind if I sit by you?" 

I looked up to see Sara Sawyer standing there. She was a nice girl. I had gone to school with her for years and we were sorta friends. I smiled halfheartedly. 

"Sure, go ahead."

She plopped down into the seat and opened her notebook. 

"Working on the Family Livings report?" She asked, then added, not waiting for an answer, "what topic did you pick?"

"Day-care Centers," I mumbled. 

"Wow! Me too! Maybe we can share research." 

I thought that over quickly. I sure didn't mind. The sooner I got this over with, the better. 

"Sure." 

We worked on our projects for the next half hour, and it actually went pretty well. We couldn't talk much because we were in the library, but all the better, because I really didn't feel much like talking anyway. Good grief, I thought suddenly as a horrible thought hit me. What if one of Jana's friends, or even Jana herself, saw me spending time with Sara? She might think I was dating her for the experiment, and there was no way I wanted to give Jana that idea. I wanted Jana to see that I liked and respected her, but I was not going to follow her every wish. At least while we were broken up. 

Sara brought me back to the present when she slammed her notebook shut. She glanced at her watch and then smiled at me. 

"Hey, it's only 1:30. Are you going to go over to Bumpers for a while?"

I had mentioned to Scott and Mark that I would try to see them at Bumpers today. 

"Yeah, I'll probably go over for awhile."

"Great! So am I. Want to walk over together?"

"Okay." I didn't really WANT to, what if somebody saw us?, but I couldn't very well say, no thanks, I'd rather walk over by myself. She'd think I was being rude. 

A few minutes later, we found ourselves being swept into Bumpers. The place was packed, as usual, and I looked around to see if I could spot Scott or Mark. 

"Hey, Kirwan!" 

I turned around to see Keith Masterson coming towards me. 

"Hi, Keith," I replied. Keith was a pretty good friend of mine, and dated Jana's best friend, Beth Barry. 

"You two come from the library or something?" He asked, nodding to the notebooks in Sara's and my hands. 

"Yeah, we were looking up stuff for Family Living reports." I saw Keith look back and forth between Sara and I and then raise his eyebrows. Oh great. "Hey, have you seen Daly or Peters?" I asked quickly.

"Yup, Mark's over there, but Scott left a little while ago. See ya around."

I waved and then said goodbye to Sara and quickly started making my way towards the table where Mark was sitting with a bunch of guys from the football team. 

"What's up?" I said as I sank into a seat. Everyone said their greetings and we talked for awhile, then I excused myself to get a soda. I wasn't really paying attention to the people around me, until I was almost at the order counter. Sitting near the middle of a room in a green bumper car by herself was Jana. I couldn't help but think about all the fun times we've had together and that if we were still dating, I might go over and sit next to her and we'd talk for awhile. The feeling depressed me so much that I tried to look away, but just at that moment, Jana looked up herself and locked eyes with me. She, too, looked sad- or was her face reflecting mine?- but quickly looked away. I watched as she stood up and walked over to a booth where Beth Barry was sitting with the Dreadful Alternatives, our school's rockband. As she sank in next to Parker Donovan, I turned and headed to get in line. I didn't want to see her have fun with other kids when I was so miserable. I couldn't remember when I'd been so depressed. What a rotten week. I hoped the next would be better. Ha. 

If I'd only known what was to come. 


	3. Talking to Jana

Monday morning I posted myself outside room 107, my homeroom and also Jana's

Monday morning I posted myself outside room 107, my homeroom and also Jana's. I was determined to talk to her. I didn't know what I was going to say, I just had to say something. If I could just TALK to her, maybe she'd change her mind and want to get back together. I had an excuse to talk to her, too. Going through some old homework papers the night before, I had found one of her math papers. I few weeks back, I had missed some problems on the same worksheet, and since Jana's pretty good in math, I had asked to check her work to mine. I guess I'd just forgotten to give it back. 

I had waited about 10 or 15 minutes when the bell rang. Soon kids were streaming in all over the place and the hall got noisy with all the kids shouting. I had just begun to wonder if Jana was absent that day when suddenly I saw her coming up the hall. She was staring downwards in deep thought, not really paying attention to what was going on around her. So she was almost up to the door when she looked up and saw me there. She came up in front of me and we kind of stood there a minute looking at each other until I reached into my notebook and pulled out the math page. 

"I found this and thought you might need it. Umm, in case you need to study for a test or something." Dumb! There were no tests scheduled in math and even if there was, she wouldn't need this old homework to study for it. But it was too late now. Jana reached out and took the paper from me. She glanced down at it, then back at me.

"Thanks," she said gratefully, flashing me her gorgeous smile. "I've been looking all over for it. I'm glad you found it."

We stood there shifting feet for a minute. I glanced nervously around, racking my brain for something to say. This was my chance and I was going to blow it! Why couldn't I just say to Jana how much I missed her and that I wanted to get back together? 

"I saw you at the library on Saturday afternoon," Jana said suddenly. 

Oh no! My cheeks flushed bright red. The library! Saturday! The day I was there with Sara Sawyer. She must have seen me with her what if she thought I actually LIKED Sara? Oh no, oh no, oh no.

"Yeah, we had toto work on our reports for Family Living." And that's ALL we were doing! I wanted to add, but couldn't. Please believe me.... I begged silently. 

"Hey, would you guys move? You're blocking the door!" Joel Murphy snapped, trying to squeeze in between us. I realized then how stupidly I'd been standing right in the doorway. Quickly, I stepped back. 

"Sorry, Joel," I muttered. 

"I guess I'd better go in, too. See you later." Jana gave a quick nod and then rushed into our homeroom. I stood there a moment, feeling weak. What a failure! I had only messed things up worse between us. _I should just shut up and let nature take it's course_ I thought. _It's obvious Jana doesn't really want to see me or talk to me right now anyway._

And when I entered the room a moment later, I glanced at Jana. She was staring at the top of her desk like it held the secret to life. _She really doesn't like me anymore._ I slumped into my seat and put my head in my hands. Life was so unfair.


	4. Traitor

After that disasterous conversation, I completely avoided Jana

After that disasterous conversation, I completely avoided Jana. I tried not to look for her either and got more involved with my friends- talking about stuff with them helped keep my mind off Jana. I realized, too, that I hadn't been paying much attention to what had been going on with my friends and was surprised to find out that Keith Masterson had broken up with Beth. When I asked why, he just shrugged and said he just didn't want to go with her anymore. Okay, whatever. I didn't ask anymore questions because I knew how it felt when people asked a hundred questions about something you didn't want to even talk about. 

I also definitely did not look for any girls to date. I was not ashamed to admit I still loved Jana and knew she was the only girl for me. Luck WAS with me in one respect though- Jana hadn't been dating any other guys, either. I knew that's what would really kill me- seeing her with someone else. 

But, of course, luck lately hadn't been staying with me very long, so I probably shouldn't have been surprised when standing at my locker after school I happened to overhear a conversation between Parker Donovan and Chris Burke, two 8th graders and members of the school's rockband, The Dreadful Alternatives. Normally, I wouldn't listen in to someone else's conversation, but my attention was grabbed when I heard Jana's name. 

"---talk to Jana?" I heard Chris ask. 

"Yeah, a few minutes a go." Parker answered. 

"And? Do you have a date?" Chris prodded, almost drowned out by a slamming locker. I bit my lip and concentrated on hearing Parker's reply, even though I was pretty sure I didn't want to. 

"Yup. I'm going to her apartment to go over the history homework tonight and then to Bumpers afterward." 

"All right, man!" Chris said, and I heard their palms slap. They continued down the hall and I didn't hear anymore. Not that I wanted to. I stuffed the books I needed into my backpack and hurried out of the school. I avoided talking to anyone as I got on my bike and headed towards home- I just wanted to get out of there. _How could she?_ My mind screamed the whole way back. _How could she go out with someone else?_ I knew that was the whole idea of the 'experiment', but that didn't make it any easier to accept; especially since I didn't want to try the experiment in the first place. _And how dare he?_ I thought angrily as I screeched to a stop in front of my house and wheeled my bike into the garage. _How dare he ask MY girlfriend out! _I wished I was still going out with Jana so I could tell him off. But I wasn't going out with Jana, and it would be pointless to get upset with him when he technically wasn't doing anything wrong. 

I stomped into the house and slammed the door behind myself.

"Hi, honey!" My mom called from the kitchen. 

"Hi," I called back halfheartedly, debating on whether or not to go into see her or just go on upstairs. 

"Come tell me about your day," she said, solving the problem for me. 

I tossed my backpack down and scuffed into the kitchen.

"So?" She asked, turning from the stove to give me a smile. 

"It was fine," I lied, opening the fridge door to get out some milk.

"You don't slam the door when your day's been 'fine'," she replied knowingly. 

I sighed and sat down at the table. She gave me a sympathetic look and sat down next to me. 

"More problems with Jana?" 

"Yeah," I hesitated for a minute, then told her what had happened that day- about trying to talk to Jana and then Parker saying he had a date with her tonight. 

"Well, the point of this whole thing was to date other people, right? It doesn't mean for sure Jana DOESN'T like you anymore. She's just doing what she said she was going to do, right?" My mom said when I finished. 

I shrugged. "I guess. But more likely she just doesn't like me anymore. Mom, you should have seen her this morning. She really didn't want to talk to me." 

My mom squeezed my hand and sighed. "You have a date planned soon to talk things over, right? Where you can tell each other how you feel?"

"Yeah in like three weeks. Anything could happen by then. Most likely she'll probably be going steady with Parker or something," I retorted, playing with my milk glass. 

"Oh, Randy." She shook her head. "You never know with girls. Believe me, I know. I am one." She grinned, then added, "So don't give up hope. In fact, I'm willing to bet that you two will be back together before the three weeks is even up. She'd be crazy not to want you back, honey." 

"She'd be crazy to pick me over Parker- not only is he an 8th grader but he's considered one of the coolest kids in school and he's also in the rock band," I argued.

Mom stood up and shook her head again. "I can see you're determined to be stubborn about the whole thing, so I'm just going to give it up. But remember what I said, Randy. Things aren't always what they seem." 

I got up and put my glass in the sink. "I think I'll go up and start my homework," I said, changing the subject. "Tell me if you need help with anything. Oh, yeah, I told Tony Sanchez I'd meet him tonight after dinner at Bumpers for a little while. It's okay, isn't it?" 

"Sure," she nodded, "just make sure you get your homework done."

"Yeah, I will. We don't have a lot tonight. Thanks, Mom."

It wasn't until I was halfway up the stairs when it hit me. I couldn't go to Bumpers tonight! Not if Jana was going to be there with Parker! How would I act? What would I do if my friends said something? Well, maybe Jana wouldn't be there at the same time. I reasoned. If she and Parker were going to study together, they might not get out to Bumpers till later. And anyway, the place might be too busy for me to really see them. 

"I'm not going to plan my life around Jana and her boyfriends," I said stoutly to myself as I walked into my room. "I'll go tonight and if she sees me there, I'll show her that I don't care what she does." That wasn't true of course, but I wasn't going to let her know she'd hurt me. If she thought by going with someone else I'd start going crazy and doing things to get her back, well, she was wrong. If she didn't need me, I'd show her I didn't need her. I would flirt my head off with other girls if I had to tonight. Jana still meant a lot to me, but there was such a thing as pride, you know.


	5. Enter Sara

In the hour and a half that I was at Bumpers that evening, only ten minutes of it was spent one-on-one with Tony Sanchez

In the hour and a half that I was at Bumpers that evening, only ten minutes of it was spent one-on-one with Tony Sanchez. Barely had we gotten our drinks and found a booth when Laura McCall and Melissa McConnell came and sat down with us. I was kinda suprised they'd just come and join us because I'm not really good friends with either, mainly as they are two of Jana's least favorite people in school and so we don't interact too often on a social basis. I let Tony do most of the flirting for the first bit, but as I got more relaxed I joined in too. Why not? I had told myself earlier that I wasn't going to let Jana see me upset that she had a date, and besides- she was the one who thought up this whole dating other people buisness anyway, so I certainly had a right to flirt if I wanted. Then barely had Laura and Melissa left when Sara Sawyer, Melinda Thaler and Marcie Bee came and sat with us. They spent over half and hour laughing and flirting with Tony and me- all of them except for Sara Sawyer, who had stationed herself on my left and totally ignored the others and talked only to me. At first it surprised me and I wondered what made me so interesting, but as the night wore on, it began to dawn on me that it might be possible that Sara had a crush on me. It hadn't really crossed my mind before, but as I noticed that way she looked at me and hung onto every word I said, it became clear that she must. I have to admit I was flattered, but I also felt bad- insincere- flirting with her because I had no intention of asking her out. I did like Sara as a friend, but NOT a dating friend. I couldn't imagine doing things and going places with her like I used to with Jana. So, the night wore on, and I continued to flirt, but it felt so hollow that I really wasn't having much fun. No one seemed to notice the great acting job I was doing. Maybe I should go out for the Drama Club, I thought to myself. I could get an acadmey award for this one. And the hardest part didn't even come until after I went to get a refill of my drink and who did I step in line behind, but Parker Donovan. Immediatly, I looked around for Jana, but she was no where in sight. Was it possible she had canceled on him? And he had come alone? But my hopes were dashed when I caught a bit of his conversation with Craig Meachem, who was in line in front of him. 

"--history all over with. Man, she's such a little student! When I told her about how you just look up the answers in the chapter for a the test, you know, without reading the whole freaking chapter geez, you should have seen her face! Like I had just suggested we go rob a bank or something."

He and Craig laughed and I glared at the back of Parker's head. The way he talked, it made you think that there was something wrong with Jana for not wanting to cheat. I was furious at him for talking her into doing something like that. How dare he try to undermine her good character? Who did he think he was anyway? I was getting madder by the minute and was sincerely glad when Parker got his order- two root beers (when did Jana start liking root beer??)- and moved on towards a table near the door. I quickly placed my own order so I could get back to the table without Jana seeing me and having us meet eyes or something totally embarrassing. 

I had a hard time concentrating on my conversation with Sara after that. (we ended up being the only two left in the booth) I kept looking around to catch a glimpse of Jana and Parker when they left, but I missed them. Finally, I realized how late it was getting, and told Sara I needed to get home. Since it was getting dark, I told her I'd walk her back to her house which seemed to suit her fine. She chattered the whole way back about school and friends and her trying out for softball next month, and I tried to listen, but I was still drifting off to other thoughts and I barely noticed when we got to her house and she went in. Only 3 more weeks. I told myself as I walked the rest of the way home. Then Jana and I had our date where we could talk things out and I could convince her to get back together. If she hadn't found Parker too charming, that is. I kept wondering if she had really had had fun on the date. More fun then she had with me I had a lot of questions skidding around in my mind, too. What had they talked about? How many people saw them on a date? And most horrible to think about- had he kissed her goodnight? The thought made me furious- he had no right to kiss MY girlfriend! But what could I do about it? I thought helplessly as I trudged up to my room. Nothing. 

I had a hard time falling asleep that night.


	6. Signing Up

Luckily, Parker Donovan had the good graces not to say anything about his date with Jana around me the next day

Luckily, Parker Donovan had the good graces not to say anything about his date with Jana around me the next day. I don't know what I'd have said or done if he would've. Instead, I chose not to worry about it and threw myself into my studies that day and really hung with my friends between classes, doing everything I could not to think about the previous night. I was proud of myself for keeping my mind off the whole experiment. I just wished I could do that for the next 3 weeks. 

At lunch I sat with my two best friends, Scott Daly and Mark Peters, along with Shane Arrington, Bill Soliday and Brad Cochran. We talked and ate until about 15 minutes till the bell when Brad suggested we go out to the basketball court for the remaining lunch period. I definitely was up to that, and so was everyone else, so we all started out. Then I realized we'd probably be playing until almost the last minute before class and I might not have time to get my books out and make it to French class on time, so I told the guys I had to run to my locker and then I'd meet them outside. I was walking very quickly (no running allowed in the halls) to my locker when I noticed a new bulliton on the board in the front hall. I stopped to look at it, as I had just checked the board this morning and this paper hadn't been on it then- obviously, it had just been put up. Apparently, it was some sort of sign-up for a Read-a-Thon at the library on Saturday night. Second graders who read a certain amount of books could go to the library and participate in games and read alouds and then stay overnight. Jr. high school students from our school were asked to come and help the kids have fun and read aloud to them. 

"Fun if you're a second grader," I said to myself with a laugh. I would have moved on, except I happened to glance at the signup sheet. There were already quite a few kids names on it but only one caught my attention. At the very top was Jana's familiar signature. What, no date with Parker that night? I thought sarcastically. But still.... even though I was a bit mad at her, this might be a great chance to talk to her. Or at least keep an eye on her. I looked over the names of the boys on the list. I wasn't sure if any were competition, but you never knew, so I figured I might as well go too. I didn't have anything planned for Saturday, and my parents would be thrilled. Plus there might be some kids from Mark Twain Elemantary that I knew. I scribbled my name down and then hurried to my locker. The guys would be wondering what had happened to me.


	7. Keith?

"See you tomorrow, honey," my mom said as I stepped out of the car in front of the library on Saturday evening

"See you tomorrow, honey," my mom said as I stepped out of the car in front of the library on Saturday evening. "Have fun!" 

"Yeah, sure," I said halfheartedly and waved as she pulled away. 

I glanced at my watch as I started up the stairs to the library entrance. It was almost seven pm and I wondered if Jana was there yet. And if she was if she'd say anything to me. Maybe she'd be surprised to see me- I wasn't sure if she even knew I was coming. I sighed as I pushed open the front door. Most likely she'd probably just ignore me either way. Why had I even come to this dumb thing anyway? 

It was easy to tell where everyone was- the noise coming from the children's section was pretty loud, which seemed weird in a library since libraries are always so quiet. Once I reached the children's department, (which is the coolest part of the library because it has so many great places to read, including a real treehouse), I paused near the checkout desk for a minute to survey the scene. Most of the bookbuddies (which were what us jr. high helpers were called) had already arrived and I recognized all of them. I even knew some of the little kids running around as students from Mark Twain. 

But where was Jana? Surely she had come. Yes, she must have, I thought a moment later as I noticed Beth Barry, her best friend, standing near the refreshment table, staring over at the treehouse which is located in the middle of the room. Out of curiousity, I turned to see what Beth was so interested in. And that's when I saw Jana. She was standing next to the treehouse with her arms folded, watching Keith Masterson talking to two young boys. Of course I had no idea what they were talking about, but it was obvious that Jana was pretty impressed. Finally the little kids ran off and Jana and Keith started talking. I guess that really shouldn't have bothered me, but somehow it did. Especially when he stepped even closer to her and said something else. Or maybe it was the way he was smiling at her. A normal smile wouldn't be so bad- but this wasn't a normal smile. More like the kind Keith used to give Beth before they broke up. Or that kind I'd give Jana before WE broke up. But. . . could it be? I thought skeptically, as a new idea suddenly flew into my mind. Could Keith Masterson actually like *Jana*? No way. How could he? Keith was one of my really good friends. He wouldn't do something like that to me, would he? But Keith had a reputation for being a jerk at times, so I couldn't really be sure. But what about Jana? Surely she would never go out with her best friend's ex-boyfriend. Jana wasn't that kind of girl. Or had she changed? She sure had been acting different lately. 

I was feeling so confused that I didn't even notice the moment Jana walked away from Keith. When looked back to the refreshment table, I saw she was standing next to Beth, helping her rearrange the plates of snacks. I tried not to stare, but I couldn't help it, and suddenly Jana looked up and our eyes locked. For a minute I thought she looked puzzled, then she actually looked sort of nervous. Before I could try to read her expression further, she turned away. 

Why did I have a *really* bad feeling about tonight?


	8. The Read-A-Thon

I didn't have much time to dwell on my bad feeling because of the head children librarian suddenly shouting for everyone's atte

I didn't have much time to dwell on my bad feeling because of the head children librarian suddenly shouting for everyone's attention. Before I knew it, I was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room reading "Trumpet of the Swans" to a Shawn Jackson or Johnson or something from Riverfield Elemantary. I had never read the book myself before, so I was actually pretty caught up in it when the librarian called for everyone to stop a half hour later so pages could be counted. 

While Shawn ran up to give our page count, I sat back on my sleeping bag and looked around to see where the other book buddies were positioned. I didn't see Jana anywhere, but it was very possible she was watching me right now, so I didn't want to look like a loser just sitting around not talking to anyone. I spotted Curtis Trowbridge right in front of me, but he started talking to Whitney Larkin, his girlfriend, so naturally I didn't butt in. Keith Masterson was a few spaces away, but- I thought with a slight frown- I wasn't sure I felt like talking to him at the moment anyway. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. For a brief moment I wondered if it possibly could be Jana, and I felt a flash of hope as I turned to see who it was. But it wasn't Jana, of course. It was Sara Sawyer. Again! I fought back a frown of frustration. It seemed like she was everywhere I went anymore. 

"Hi! Hey, is this fun or what?" She said cheerfully over the buzz of talking around us. 

I almost laughed out loud. Yeah, what a BLAST. I was, like, having the time of my life. Just how I like to spend MY Saturday nights- sitting around in a library reading to 8 year olds and watching one of my friends flirting (?) with the girl I cared about (who was totally giving me the cold shouder). Yeah, sooo much fun. 

But Sara didn't look like she was being sarcastic, so I forced myself to smile back. 

"Oh, um, yeah. It's... fun."

She laughed again and tossed her hair, which is so short it kind of just swung into her face. (Was I supposed to think that was attractive?) "I LOVE the little kid I got!" She gushed. "Her name's like, Vanessa or something, and she is SO adorable. She picked out, like, five books and they are all Curious George! How cute is that?"

She started giggling again and I laughed too, though only out of the absurdity of the whole conversation. 'How cute is that?' Um, okay. Whatever.

To tell you the truth, I was kind of surprised at the way Sara was acting. She was almost ditzy or something. I guess I should just get used to it because I lot of girls are like that, but after Jana who's so level-headed and definitely not 'valley-girlish'... it was just kind of hard for me to know how to respond. 

Sara started to open her mouth again, but she didn't get a chance to say anything as it was at that moment the little kids returned to their bookbuddies and the librarian instructed us to begin our reading again for another half hour. I was actually relieved to turn back to the book where I didn't have to think about all that was going wrong with the evening and talk to Sara. But, all too soon, the time was up again and we started a musical game. (Which was super boring, I might add. I also noticed a lot of staring going on by some of the other book buddies. Beth Barry staring at Keith, Keith staring at Jana, and Jana staring at the floor. The hardest to ignore was Keith staring at Jana, but I also had a hard time ignoring Sara watching *me*.) As we went back to another 30 minutes of reading aloud, I shook my head, silently asking myself if the evening could get much worse. 

The answer, of course, was 'yes' and it happened right after the third reading session. 

The librarian had just announced 'snack time' and I was starting to get to my feet to join the crowd heading to the refreshment table, when I heard shouting. I looked up in surprise to see, of all people, Beth and Jana faced off about 6 feet away. To say I was shocked was an understatment. I had NEVER seen Jana yell at anyone in public or private (except maybe once or twice at Taffy Sinclair back at Mark Twain) and NEVER EVER at her best friend. 

"No! Give it to me!" Jana yelled, stepping closer to Beth, who was unfolding a peice of paper and giving Jana a quizzical look. 

"But-" Beth started. 

"I said, give it to me!" Jana reached out and snatched at the paper, ripping it down the middle. By now, pretty much everyone in the room was watching the upset. And all wondering the same thing- what in the world did the paper say and why didn't Jana want Beth to see it?

Beth apparently could still read it though, even ripped down the middle, and her eyes got large as she comprehended the message. 

"It says, 'Keith Masterson plus Jana Morgan!" Beth cried, looking up at Jana in disbelief and horror. "How could you? You're supposed to be my best friend, and you stole my boyfriend!" 

"But, Beth! You don't understand! I didn't steal your boyfriend. Keith's been asking me out now that I'm not going steady with Randy, that's all." Jana insisted, biting her lip, her eyes pleading. 

"Oh, yeah! I've seen you two with your heads together! And you tried to make me think you were talking about me!" Beth spat, shaking her head in fury. I had never seen her look so mad. She litterly looked ready to fly at Jana. I was dying to hear Jana's reply, but she quickly pulled Beth towards the paperbacks across the room and nothing more could be heard. 

The spell was broken. Everyone was starting to move again, the little kids brushing it all off- it had no meaning to them. I could see most of my classmates giving me looks out of the corner of my eye, and I thought Sara was going to say something, but thankfully she didn't. She just got up and walked towards the refreshment table, and I sat frozen to my spot, my head pounding and my heart aching. So it WAS true. There WAS something going on between Jana and Keith. But how? Keith had really seemed to like Beth, and Jana... well, Jana just didn't seem like that kind of girl. I would never have guessed she would steal someone else's boyfriend. Or had she? She had said Beth had it wrong. But what if she was just trying to cover up the truth? I looked at Keith who was still sitting on HIS sleeping bag. He was running his finger along the shiny part and staring at the floor. And... smiling? No, he couldn't have been smiling. Not after a horrible scene like that. Unless he didn't find it so horrible. Unless he wanted everyone to know that he and Jana were going together. If they were. It was possible they weren't but he wanted them to be. I put my hand on my head, trying to calm my swirling thoughts and splitting headache. Everything was so mixed up and confusing. I just wanted to go home and think things out. But I couldn't. I had to stick the night out. 

I sighed and got to my feet, heading for the snacks. I wasn't planning on eating anything though. I was sure my stomach couldn't take it.


	9. Why??

I dreaded going to school on Monday

I dreaded going to school on Monday. I knew that all the 7th graders who had been at the library Saturday night would have by that time spread the word around that Jana had broken up with me and Keith had broken up with Beth so that they could go together. It was that kind of gossip that would have kids going for weeks, whispering behind my back and stopping to stare when I passed by. I was aware, though, that a lot of people would be on my side instead of Jana's because, I mean, breaking up with your boyfriend to go out with your BEST FRIEND'S boyfriend is just considered *cruel*. Still, I hadn't liked all the attention I had gotten thanks to this experiment anyway, and this would be, by far, the worst. 

When I got back Sunday morning I didn't even tell my mom what had happened. I pretty much kept to my room with the excuse that I was really tired and had some homework to catch up on. I could tell she knew something was wrong, but she knew better then to ask me about it by now. I didn't want to fill her in on the latest developments- I already knew what she'd say- what she'd already said a million billion times: tell Jana how you feel, talk things out, yada yada yada. But talking with Jana had become one of the last things I wanted to do. For one thing, I had no idea what I'd say to her if I did get up the nerve to confront her. But mainly, I was just so *mad* at her. I lay on my bed almost all day Sunday, a million questions still flying around in my mind, trying to figure out why she would do something like this? To meto Beth? The Jana I knew would never do something so mean. What had happened? When had she changed so much? 

But the biggest thing that bothered me was, when had she fallen for Keith? I must have run through the last couple months a dozen times that day. I tried to remember anything, ANYTHING that was a clue that she wanted to date him. But I couldn't think of a thing. She had never talked about him with me, never flirted with him...at least not that I knew of. And I guess that was the key. Something must have been going on that I didn't know about. And she had just been waiting for the right time to break up with me. Of course, dating Keith had been her reason for splitting... not that dumb thing about dating other people to see if we were right for each other. I should have KNOWN that reason was too stupid to be true. But I just couldn't see Jana being so back-handed. She just wasn't like that. Or at least what I knew of her. But I was starting to wonder if maybe I didn't know her as well as I thought I did. 

I wasn't just mad at Jana, though. I was ready to kill Keith. What a jerk! Keith had done some pretty immature things before but nothing topped this. What kind of a jerk broke up with his girlfriend to go out with his girlfriend's best friend... and the best friend being the girlfriend of one of his OWN good friends! Just who did he think he was anyway?! And what did Keith have that I didn't? I guess Keith would be considered good looking, and he had a reputation for being crazy, but a lot of fun. I certainly wasn't the crazy type, at least not like him, but did that make me boring? Jana always seemed to have fun when we were together- as much fun as I had with her. So what was it? I was ready to go nuts with just THAT much in my mind, but then I thought of something else. Something that didn't add up.

If Jana had really been interested in KEITH all this time, why in the world had she gone out with Parker? Wouldn't that have bothered Keith? Keith had been split from Beth at the time Jana and Parker went out- was Jana mad that Keith hadn't asked her out sooner and trying to hurry him up or something? Or was it part of their plan to throw people off track for awhile. I had never been so confused in my life. I wished I could talk to somebody about all of it- see what they could make of it. But I really didn't want my mom's same advice over again, and I certainly couldn't talk to Scott or Mark about it. Guys just didn't talk about these kind of things. Ironic how the person who would be perfect to talk with at a time like this was Jana. 

That night my dreams were a confusing tangle of recent events- I wandered around trying to figure things out, trying to ask Jana what had happened to change things-her- so much. But when I opened my mouth, the only thing that came out was 'why? why?' Jana never answered, and everytime I stretched my arm out to touch her, she was always right out of reach. And no matter where I followed her, I couldn't catch up. 

I tried not to think about what the dream could mean.


	10. Just Go Away

I was right

I was right. Monday was everything I'd been afraid it'd be. I rode my bike to school like I always did and even though I kept my eyes straight ahead as I made my way to the bike rack, I could feel dozens of pairs of eyes watching me as I passed. I briefly debated joining my friends at the gum tree, but knew that I couldn't avoid this subject forever, so I might as well get it over with. Besides, there was always a chance they *hadn't* heard the rumor yet. 

Shane Arrington, Mark Peters, Jon Smith and Joel Murphy were standing around the tree talking when I walked up. 

"Hey," I said, giving them the chin-up. 

"Hey," Shane replied, glancing at the other guys who all suddenly seemed interested in the grass, the tree, the sky... anything opposite of my direction. My heart sank and I looked down at my shoes. They HAD heard. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised though. I had forgotten the amazing gossip grapevine we had at Wacko. When I glanced up again, I realized that now all the guys were giving Mark pointed looks. I figured they wanted him to be the first one to say something since he had been one of my best friends for so long. Mark looked a little uncomfortable for a minute, then kind of shrugged. 

"Heard about what happened at the library Saturday night," he said finally. 

I shrugged back. "I'm not surprised. I thought you would." 

"Tough break, man," Jon shook his head. "Talk about a surprise." 

"Yeah, really." 

Just then Derek Travelstead came jogging up. "Hey, Kirwan- I just heard from Melinda Thaler that Jana broke up with you to go with Keith Masterson and that's why he broke up with Beth- to go out with Jana! Melinda said that Elizabeth said she heard about some big fight at the library Saturday between Beth and Jana about Jana going with Keith from Sara Sawyer! Is it true?" He asked breathlessly. 

Shane, Jon, Mark and Joel all looked at me, waiting for me to answer. I paused for a minute, wondering what to say. I wasn't POSITIVE that it was all true- about Jana and Keith breaking up with their steadies to date each other- and I hated spreading things around that weren't FOR SURE true.... but, you know- I guess the REAL truth was I was sick and tired of standing up for Jana always giving her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she didn't deserve it. 

"Yeah, it's true," I said stoutly, raising my chin. "I guess they've liked each other for awhile and couldn't wait any longer to go together so they planned the whole breakup." 

Derek's eyes widened and he shook his head. "Wow. That's really something. I can't believe they'd do something like this! Wow. If I were you I'd be so mad!" 

"Well, I can't say I'm happy." I frowned. There was another pause then Mark kind of shifted. 

"We've heard some other things, too," he said slowly. I stared at him. 

"Like what?" 

"Well... It's Keith. He's been saying some things..." 

I felt myself go cold. Oh, great, I thought. I was afraid to find out what Keith HAD been spreading around, but I figured I meant as well hear about it sooner then later. 

"Yeah?" I prodded, raising my eyebrows at Mark. 

But he didn't get a chance to reply- the bell rang and we all had to head for our lockers. Unfortunatly, just because school was going on didn't mean people didn't stop me in the halls and before classes to ask if the rumor they'd been hearing was correct. Even some 8th graders wanted to know what I thought about the whole thing! I hadn't realized Jana and I were such a popular couple. If we were still together, I wouldn't mind everyone knowing about us, but this...THIS I didn't enjoy. By gym class, I was ready to hit the next person who wanted to know 'if it was really true'. I hoped that the class today would be a real workout so I could just FORGET everything that had happened lately. Lord knew I deserved it. But, as always, I forgot one very important thing: 

Keith was in my gym class. 

I did have some classes with Keith earlier in the morning, but he was always seated somewhere behind me so I didn't have to look at him and half the time I forgot he was there. But it's hard to ignore someone when their locker in the locker room is three down from yours. 

It took all the self-control I had to look away and concentrate on getting changed when I saw him coming over, a cocky grin on his face. 

"Hey there, Kirwan. I suppose you've heard the news," he said right off the bat. Honestly! That's exactly what he said! Right to my face. Like he was declaring their wedding or something and I should rejoice in his happiness. 

I shot him a back-off look and pulled my gym shirt on. Of course Keith continued, despite the fact I clearly didn't want to hear anymore.

"It wasn't the plan to get the whole thing out in the open like that, at the library in front of all those people and everything, but all for the better I guess. I mean, it was probably easiest. At least now Beth knows. That was the hardest part, we figured; breaking it to Beth. Girls get so upset over the littlest things, you know?" 

I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing. What a jerk! 'The littlest things'?! Didn't he care about how Beth felt at all? What a self-centered, egotisical... JERK. What in the world did Jana see in him? 

"Well, hooray. I'm glad things are going so great for you," I snapped. 

He pretended to be offended. 

"Why, Randy Kirwan, if I didn't know better I'd say you were upset with me. It wasn't all my decision, you know. Jana had a hand in this, too." 

I glared at him and Scott Daly, who I hadn't realized was standing behind me, said coldly, "Lay off, Masterson. Don't you know when to quit?" 

Keith's eyes narrowed. "Stay out of this, Daly. This doesn't concern you." Then Keith turned back to me and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You're just sore because Jana picked me over you, Mr. Wonderful. You just can't stand losing, can you? You can't bear to think that someone might actually be better then you, huh?" 

"That's not true!" I hissed, painfully aware that nearly everyone in the room was listening by now. What in the world was he talking about? "What's your problem, anyway?" 

Keith pulled him gym shirt on and when his head popped out, his countenance had completely changed. He had a totally fake smile on now that almost made me sick. 

"Oh, well. I suppose I should be thanking you really. Jana's terrific. You really know how to pick them- maybe I should start following your example all the time. Who knows what other pleasures I've been missing out on?" 

I couldn't remember being so furious at someone. If we had been somewhere else, there might have been a different ending to this story. But it was possible that Coach Bledsoe could be in any minute to get us out on the floor and the last thing I needed was for him to come in and catch me fighting with someone and get detention. 

"I can tell you now, you're going to have a hard time finding someone to take her place. She's really a lot of fun to be with. I mean, I had the BEST time Friday night," Keith continued, a gleam in his eyes. 

Friday night?! Like, a date? Keith and Jana had gone on a date?! Already? I knew I had a look of shock on my face but I couldn't help it. THIS I hadn't expected. Jana and Keith were a lot more serious then I had thought. I looked over at Mark who was standing a few feet away. He gave me a look that clearly said, 'I was going to tell you...' 

I looked back at Keith who was heading for the door to the gym, a satisfied look on his face. The second bell rang and everyone started following Keith out. I realized I hadn't put my gym shoes on yet and as I bent down to hurridly do so, I knew with an ache in my heart just what I had to do. 


	11. Hanging Up

I skipped Bumpers after school

I skipped Bumpers after school. I knew people would want to ask me a bunch more questions about the breakup- didn't they ever run out? And if they didn't ask me about it, they'd be talk about it behind my back, and I wasn't up to dealing with more stares and whispering. I'd had my fill of the whole bit for the rest of my LIFE. Besides, Keith would more then likely be there, and the last thing I wanted was to face him and his ego again. All day I'd been hearing more rumors about how he and Jana had had some date on Friday and were practically engaged now. The way people were talking, I half expected to find a wedding invitation jammed in the door of my locker. 

And I was really getting tired of kids asking me if I cared about the whole thing. Were they as stupid as the question? Of course I cared! Why wouldn't I care? Did they really think it didn't bother me at all that one of my so-called 'good friends' was suddenly dating the girl I cared most about in the world? Honestly! 

Still, I also hated going home, because of the task I knew awaited me there. 

I sighed as I wheeled my bike up to the garage. It was the last thing in the world I WANTED to do, but I really didn't see any other choice. I mean, it was obvious by now that Jana wanted to go steady with Keith, and the only thing in her way was our date in a couple weeks that we had scheduled to talk about the experiment and its results. So I had to break the date. Soon. Today. I was actually kind of surprised Jana hadn't called ME to break it, but maybe she just didn't have the nerve to talk to me. I frowned as I walked up to our front door. Well, whether she felt like it or not, she was going to have to talk to me now. 

I started to push open the door into the house, but discovered it was locked. 

"What's up with this?" I said aloud, testing the door handle again. It didn't budge. Which was really weird because my mom is always home when I get back from school. Oh well, I thought, lifting up the doormat where our extra house key is stored. (Original, I know.) Actually this was probably better- I would have the house all to myself when I called Jana up. I just hoped SHE was home. I didn't really want to put it off any longer. 

I tossed my backpack down on a chair in the kitchen and checked the answering machine to see if there were any messages. There was. One. I pushed the button cautiously, wondering if perhaps it was Jana, calling herself to break the date. It wouldn't have surprised me. But it wasn't her. It was mom, calling from the real estate agency where she works to say she'd be late getting home and that she'd pick up pizza for dinner and that she hoped I'd had a good day at school. There was a laugh and a half. 

I glanced at our cordless phone hanging on the wall next to the fridge, feeling my heart starting to pound. I slowly walked towards it, but opened the refridgerator door instead. I knew I should call Jana right then and there, but I figured a getting a glass of milk first would help calm my stomach down a little. I finished the glass, and didn't feel any difference, so I had another. The butterflies were still there. 

Finally I picked up the phone and pushed the 'on' button, half hoping that it was, by some freak of nature, dead. But of course it wasn't- the dial tone perfectly audible. Boy, it sure was LOUD. I'd never realized how loud it was before. I wouldn't have been surprised if old Mrs. Jenkins next door could hear it, even with her hearing aid turned down. I clicked the phone off. I still planned on making the call... I just needed a moment to get my thoughts together, that was all. I wanted to sound as professional as possible- as if I did this sort of thing everyday. Well, no. I didn't want to sound like that- breaking up with someone everday would be nothing to be proud of. I just didn't want to sound like a jerk. I wanted her to think I was cool with the whole idea; that my heart didn't shatter everytime I thought of her and Keith doing... couple stuff together, like hanging out one on one, going to the movies together, walking to classes together, holding hands... kissing. My face flushed at the last thought especially. How could I do this? How could I just give Jana up like this? I couldn't. Not without a fight. Nope. No way- there was no way I was going to let Keith win this one. He was going to have to learn he couldn't just barge in and steal people's girlfriends whenever he wanted. Good grief! What if I was the only person who would stand up to him, teach him a lesson?! If I didn't, he might even get more rotten in his ways. It was settled. I'd go over and have it out with him. I checked my watch. He'd be home from Bumpers by now. Get him while he was feeling good about himself. That outta throw him off guard. 

I took a step towards the door, then stopped. My shoulders sagged and I swallowed hard. No, I couldn't do it. It was a selfish thing for me to do, really, now that I thought about it. Here I was, thinking of myself, when I should be thinking of Jana. I cared about her a LOT, and I had to do what would make HER happy, not me. I couldn't confront Keith- Jana wouldn't be pleased by that. She's probably never speak to me again if I beat up her new boyfriend. No. There was only one thing I could do. Call her. Break the date. Now. 

I picked up the phone and dialed her number before I lost my nerve again. One ring. Pause. I bit my lip. What if she wasn't home? I HAD to talk to her. Now, before I lost it all over again. Two rings. I was starting to get really nervous and debating whether to hang up, when suddenly someone answered and said 'hello'. It was Jana, and she didn't sound very happy. Which kind of surprised me a little. But no time to dwell on that. 

"Hi, Jana. This is Randy."

Dead silence. 

"Randy?" Her voice was soft, but I could still hear the surprise in it. My heart fluttered a little at the sound of her voice. I couldn't help thinking about all the times in the past when just hearing it made my day. But now it made me almost ill because I knew after this conversation, I'd probably never hear it again over the phone. Maybe just at school when we passed in the hallways and she'd be talking to one of her friends. Or when she said 'here' during roll in homeroom. Or when she gave a speech in class. Or-

Earth to Randy! I shook my head and brought myself back to the present. 

"Yeah. Listen, there's something I need to tell you," I said quickly, hoping I didn't sound as nervous as I felt. My heart rate was definitely starting to speed up again. 

"What?" She asked, after a moment, sounding a little nervous herself. She was probably afraid I was going to chew her out for sneaking around with Keith. Not like she didn't deserve it, I guess. 

Just spit it out, Kirwan, I ordered myself. Just do it. Now. 

"I'm calling to break the date we made for one month after the experiment started. That way, you and Keith can start going steady whenever you want to." 

"Randy! What are you talking about?" Jana exploded in a shocked and angry voice. "There's absolutely nothing going on between me and Keith!" 

"That's not what he says," I muttered. Nice try, Miss Morgan. You think I don't know what's going on... think again. 

"OK, Randy Kirwan, go ahead and break our date if that's what you want to do! I can see now that our experiment was the right thing, after all, since you don't care about me enough to believe me and since you didn't waste any time getting a new girlfriend!" She snapped, the intensity in her voice at a level I'd never heard it before.

You could have knocked me over with a peice of tissue paper. Me!? New girlfriend!! Of all the nerve! She thought something was going on between ME and someone else!? I knew who that someone else was, too, that she was refering to and I almost gagged. 

"Sara Sawyer's not my girlfriend," I managed to get out. 

"Oh, sure. Tell me another one. I see you two together everywhere. I guess I'm the one who couldn't believe the truth."

"Come on, Jana," I argued. "Sara shows up everywhere I go. I don't ask her to be there. She's nice, but I don't like her for a girlfriend." THAT was certainly the truth. 

"So what about the sleepover? Answer me that! I saw the list. You signed up together."

"No, we didn't," I sighed, starting to get really annoyed. Boy, what did it take to convince her there was nothing going on between Sara and me? I paused a moment, debating whether or not to tell her the truth about why I signed up. Might as well. I didn't have any pride left to lose after this horrible conversation. "I signed up because you were going. I guess Sara saw my name so she signed up too."

I honestly expected her to believe me. I mean, Jana and I never lied to each other. There was no reason for her to think I wasn't telling the truth. It did actually briefly crossed my mind that maybe she was telling the truth about there being nothing going on with her and Keith, but I dismissed that idea right away. It had to be true if KEITH said they had actually had a DATE. Not to mention everyone in the school was talking about it. I sighed again. If only there wasn't this TENSION between us. If only we could talk like we used to together. 

If only Jana would say something back. 

I could hear her breathing on the other end, and it made me mad that she was actually DEBATING over whether or not I was telling her the truth. I mean, I had just confessed that I had gone to the sleepover thingy because she was going- didn't that tell her something? Why couldn't she see I didn't want to break the date and that this was one of the hardest things I'd ever done in my life? But she didn't care. It was obvious at this point. I glared at the phone, and shook my head. 

"Geez, Jana! Maybe the experiment was a good idea, like you said. I found out things I about you I never knew before- like how stubborn you are! And maybe I would rather go with Sara Sawyer after all!"

I slammed the phone back down on the holder with a bang. Immediatly a sick feeling washed over me and I felt like I was going to throw up. I had really done it now. I had actually HUNG UP on JANA. And yelled at her. My GIRLFRIEND. Well, my ex now, I guess. She would definitely never speak to me again. I had lost her forever. 

I sank down into one of the kitchen chairs and drew my knees up, clutching my arms around them tightly, hoping it would alleviate the terrible ache in my chest. Could someone die of a broken heart? 

I wondered if I was going to find out.


	12. It All Unfolds

I considered lying to my mom the next day, telling her I felt fluish and that I thought it would probably be best if I skipped 

I considered lying to my mom the next day, telling her I felt fluish and that I thought it would probably be best if I skipped school. I was sooo not ready to face another day like yesterday. Especially having to see Jana now that I had yelled at her. While I still felt I was sort of in the right telling her off like that, I couldn't help wishing I could take it back. Even if I didn't have a chance with her now that she and Keith were a thing, I didn't want her hating me forever. I knew it would really hurt if I walked onto the school grounds and she was standing there, glaring at me hating me. I just didn't think I could handle that right now. 

Even so, I ended up discarding the flu idea. I mean, besides the fact that moms can always tell if you're really sick or not, I knew that only the wimps don't face what their afraid of. So, I headed to school like always, resolved to not let everything that was going wrong in my life turn me into a sissy. 

When I arrived at the school grounds, I kind of looked around for Jana so that I could avoid her, but I didn't see her anywhere. Which was a little strange because usually she's at school before me. Not that I cared that she wasn't anywhere in sight. All the better for me. Upon inspection, I noticed that a lot of my friends were gathered around the gum tree, so I headed in that direction. I had just stepped up next to Bill Soliday when I noticed that Keith Masterson was also in the crowd and was arguing with a bunch of guys about some football player. I froze, and debated turning around and heading to my locker to avoid a confronation with Keith so early on in the day, but at that moment he noticed me too, and gave me such a look of superiority that I clenched my jaw and stayed where I was. He wasn't going to intimidate ME. Nope, no way, no how. 

I was just preparing to join the conversation when the most amazing, unexpected, and just plain totally shocking thing happened. Something that I will never, ever forget. Out of nowhere, a loud, clear, confident voice rang throughout the courtyard:

"Keith, I have something to ask you, and I want everyone to hear it."

It was Jana. I whirled around in surprise along with everyone else who was standing around. I'm sure all the other kids were wondering exactly what I was- what in the world did Jana have to ask Keith in front of the whole student body? I felt a nervous shiver run down my spine. I realized that this could be very bad for me. Maybe Jana was so furious at me that she and Keith had concoted a plan to embarrass me in front of everyone. I turned to look at Keith and check out his expression. He had a cocky look on his face as he swaggered away from the tree and faced Jana, who was standing some feet away. 

"Sure. Ask away."

I looked back at Jana. Her jaw looked tight and her eyes were narrowed. She actually looked mad at Keith. Could it be possible that...? No, it couldn't. Could it? Maybe? Another shiver ran through my body, and I noticed everyone else was also looking expectantly at Jana to see what she would say next. It was quieter on the grounds then I'd ever heard it. It was really kind of eerie. 

"There's a rumor going around that you're telling everyone that you and I were sneaking around behind Randy's and Beth's backs, and that we planned the breakups so that we cold go out together. Did you really say that?"

"Why not? It's true," Keith replied, raising his arms up in an exaggerated shrug. 

Jana's eyes narrowed even more and she put her hands on her hips. 

"It is NOT, Keith Masterson, and you know it! Did you also say that we had a date last Friday night?"

It is NOT? It is NOT?! Was it possible....? My eyes flicked back to Keith. 

"Hey, how could you forget a thing like that?" He swaggered around a little again, wiggling his eyebrows, and all the guys laughed. Oh PLEASE. I glared at him, thinking for the billionth time what a jerk he was. 

"Gosh, you'd better refresh my memory. I can't seem to remember where we went," Jana crossed her arms over her chest, and tilted her head. I noticed that she still looked mad, but not nearly as confident as she had looked a minute or so ago. Keith stood there a moment, staring back at Jana. 

It was probably not even two minutes before Keith answered, but it felt like a year. I shifted, and glanced around. Everyone in the crowd was watching Keith breathlessly, waiting to hear his reply. I rolled my eyes. Was he going to answer sometime this century? 

"We went to Mama Mia's," he said finally. Jana's mouth dropped open and she took a step forward, but he rushed on before she could get anything out. "Jana didn't want to go anyplace where Wacko kids would see us because she hadn't figured out what to tell Beth yet. That's why we went to Mama Mia's. We even hid out in the booth farthest away from the window to eat our pizza." A slow smile crossed Keith's face as he kind of looked around at everyone to see how this registered. I noticed Beth Barry's face was like a storm cloud and she turned to glare at Jana. I looked over at Jana myself. She didn't look confident at all now. More like totally defeated. Her arms were at her sides, and her shoulders sagged. She didn't look as if she was pleased by what Keith was saying at all. 

She looked ready to cry. 

Suddenly I wondered if maybe I had truly been wrong. If possibly Jana had been telling the truth on the phone yesterday- that there really wasn't anything going on with her and Keith. And yet, the other side of my brain argued, everything seemed to add up. The Jana Morgan plus Keith Masterson note, their flirting before the read-a-thon, Keith himself bragging about their going out... How could it all be false? 

Then it kind of clicked to me that it'd been KEITH who had been the one making it look there was something going on with them. Why hadn't I noticed that before? The note at the library had been from him. And Keith had been flirting with Jana at the read-a-thon but I hadn't been able to see her face to see if the feeling was mutual or not. Then all this about a date on Friday at Mama Mia's was making Jana look like she wanted to sink through the earth instead of happy. Could it really be possible that Keith was behind the whole thing? 

Then the most important question flashed through my mind: Which one was more trustworthy? 

I didn't even have to think about that- it was, without a doubt, Jana. She had never lied to me before and she never two-timed or anything like that. She was kind and sweet, and never did anything to hurt her friends. And Keith... I had known him a long time and he had been a jerk pretty often. Lying and Keith often went hand and hand; he cared more about himself then others; he could be obnoxious and rude. 

And it suddenly seemed pretty obvious to me that Keith was the one behind it all. But how could I be positive? There was, of course, a pretty big chance that my reasoning was off, and as much as I disliked Keith now, I didn't really want to condemn him if Jana was to blame for this whole mess, too. Besides, just because someone had bad character didn't always mean they were guilty for everything. Yet this time... I just had this FEELING it did. But how could I be sure? 

Then it struck me. There *was* a way to find out. 

By asking just one question, I could see who was telling the truth once and for all- by this one question I could either get Jana back or lose her forever. I swallowed hard, half afraid to see what the answer would be, then without any further thought, I took a step forward. 

"What kind of pizza did you order?" I asked in a loud, clear voice. Sounds like a dumb question, but wait. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jana's head snap up and her eyes widen. I knew that she knew what I was getting at. 

"Large sausage with double cheese. So what?" Keith shrugged again, and gave the crowd a look that said he thought I was crazy. 

But I wasn't the crazy one- it was him. He was crazy to think he could have pulled something like this off. Something that could have split me and Jana forever. I felt a burst of anger and I reached out and grabbed the front of Keith's shirt, pulling him closer. I was practically shaking I was so mad. 

"You're a liar, Masterson! Jana didn't go to Mama Mia's with you Friday night! I KNOW she didn't!" 

"Oh yeah? How do you know that?" Keith spat, pulling away from my grasp and glaring at me. I put my hands on my hips, giving him my most disgusted look. The jerk! He hadn't gone out with Jana- especially not to Mama Mia's. If he had, he would have known the one fact about Jana that you couldn't possibly not know if you went out for pizza with her. 

"Because she doesn't LIKE sausage pizza, even with double cheese," I retorted. "You wouldn't know that, of course. What you also wouldn't know is that she always eats pepperoni, green pepper, and mushroom pizza. She's got GOOD TASTE."

I half turned so I could see Jana. She still looked surprised, but her eyes were looking right at me, shining with gratitude and a kind of disbelief. 

Keith's eyes darted around at the people standing around who were starting to grumble among themselves, and he started backing nervously towards the school entrance. 

"Hey, so I forgot what kind of pizza we had. Big deal! So I was wrong. Okay?" He grumbled, giving me a look of contempt. I glared back at him. 

"You were wrong, all right. And you'd better never pull a trick like that again."

"Big deal, big deal," he muttered, almost breaking into a run as the crowd started to disperse. 

For a minute I just stood there, feeling ready to collapse with relief. Never before had I been so glad of a decision I'd made. I didn't even want to think about how different things would have ended for Jana and me if I had chickened out on asking Keith about the pizza, convincing myself there was no way Keith could have made up such a horrible, complex lie. 

But he had and I felt a terrible guilt wash over me. Jana had been telling the truth all along. And even though it had really looked like she was in the wrong, deep down I knew I should have believed her. How could I have ever of thought she could have changed so much? I had blamed her of being stubborn and I had been just as bad. I had been so upset and hurt when she had broken up with me that I formed a conclusion in my mind that everything people were saying was true and didn't believe her even when I knew she never lied to me. I felt like kicking myself for being so stupid. 

"Gosh, Jana," I said softly, walking up to her. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I know Keith can be a real jerk sometimes, but he really had me convinced until he came out with that stuff about the pizza." 

"That's okay," Jana said, almost shyly. "It was my fault too. I shuldn't have been so STUBBORN." We both laughed a little at that, and then she added with a smile, "and I really loved your line about good taste."

I felt the tension begin to crumble away and the heartache I'd been feeling lately start to disappear. Things were going to be the same between us again- I could feel it. 

Suddenly Beth stepped up with two of Jana's other best friends, Melanie Edwards and Katie Shannon. 

"Jana." Beth was staring at Jana, her eyes filled with tears. "I knew Keith was a jerk sometimes, but I never dreamed he'd pull something like that. I'm sorry I blamed you."

Jana's shoulders sort of slumped again and she took a deep breath. 

"I suppose you can guess most of it now. Keith was trying to get me to go out with him all those times you saw us talking together." Jana hesitated a moment. "I couldn't tell you. I knew how much it would hurt you."

"You should have at least told us," Katie spoke up quickly. "Maybe Melanie and I could have thought of a way to handle it."

Jana nodded and looked at the ground. 

"I know that now. I hurt you worse by keeping it a secret, Beth, and I hurt you guys, too, by not confiding in you. I guess I was just well being stubborn again. I expected you to believe me, no matter how bad things looked." She shook her head, making her brown hair swing. "I shouldn't have done that. No friendship, not even ours, can take that kind of strain."

Beth rushed forward and gave Jana a huge hug. 

"I just feel awful! I should never have believed those silly rumors! Can we still be best friends?"

"Of course, silly, we're all still best friends," Jana laughed, hugging Beth back. When they pulled away, Jana gave Beth a sympatheic look. "And, Beth, I'm especially sorry about Keith."

Beth's chin wobbled a little and I couldn't help feeling sorry for her, too. Even though I'm sure at this point she could see how much better off she was without him.

"Yeah, me, too. Oh well, I guess I can live without him. I mean, I've always known he was immature, and he's acted like a jerk LOTS of times" Beth sighed, shrugging a little. 

"Hey! I've got an idea!" Katie piped up suddenly, looking excited. "Why don't the three of us fix a tres gourmet dinner for Jana and Randy to celebrate their getting back together. I've got some great recipes. Melanie and Beth and I cold cook the food, set a romantic candlelit table, and then leave you guys alone."

Tray gourmet?? I gave Katie a puzzled look. 

"What's a tray gourmet meal?" 

"Tres, it's French for very. A very gourmet meal," she insisted, giving me an exasperated look. "Don't you people ever pay attention in French class?"

As much as I appreciated Jana's friends wanting to help get Jana and I settled again, all I wanted was for Jana and I to do something on our own. For one thing, Jana and I had a lot of talking to do. And I was actually looking forward to talking to Jana this time, because I knew there wouldn't be any junk about breaking up again. 

I looked at Jana and she looked at me, reading my mind. Then she smiled at her friends. 

"Thanks, Katie. But if you don't mind, we'll find a way to celebrate getting back together on our own."

I held out my hand to her and she slipped hers into it. As we walked across the schoolyard together, I could feel everyone looking at us. Some of them were huddled together, pointing and whispering. But most were smiling at us and Mark gave me thumbs up. I squeezed Jana's hand and she squeezed it back. 

Things were going to be fine again between us- I could feel it. 

And for the first time in weeks, I felt happy. Jana hadn't been cheating on me. She hadn't had a crush on Keith. Keith was put back in his place and hopefully had learned a lesson. Jana and Beth had made up. And best of all, Jana and I were back together. 

I couldn't wait to tell my mom.


End file.
